Status Compilation

This is going to be one very long post. So if you have any work at all, need not even be important, you can stop reading this now. That said, this is not a typical post. Actually I do not even know if I can call this one a post. But what the heck, this is my blog. I will call it whatever I want.

Ok. This post is a compilation of my statuses on fb. Lame, I know. But, yesterday I was looking at my timeline (again, very lame, I know) and I just went on scrolling and reading my previous statuses(very very lame, I know, I know) and things that I shared. And I went way back till the start, when I created my fb account. It felt quiet strange. How I have evolved on a social-networking platform. The extensive use of sms lingo at the beginning to the college to corporate transitional confused soul to the Rajni jokes sharing phase to the I-Hate-My-Job phase. It’s a mini memoir in itself. So I decided to document it, for myself. Because what kind of man is he, who cannot laugh at his own stupidity. :-)

This is almost all of my statuses, other than the usual Happy this and that, I’m going home, I’m sick, It’s Friday and the likes. Also I left out few statuses which I shared in the beginning that were forward text messages(lamest of ‘em all, I know) and few others which I copied from other sources. Other than that, most of them were my own. Some of them are real gems you know (modesty...? what’s that...?).

Without further ado, I present to you, the “Status Compilation”.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do not bother to understand if maths wasn’t your favourite subject..:P

“On the office forum, someone put a status. Many people gave their support by commenting '+1', few with '+100' and some others with '+100000000000000000'. But one person commented '+1^100'..;-)

I couldn't figure out if the person was over-enthusiastic with a flash of dumbness or is a smart-ass trying to troll others..:D :P”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"If you think about it, very long ago some guy/gal coined the name 'Brain' for brain, which was actually the function of the brain. In other words, 'Brain' named itself..;-)


Now, how wicked is that..:D"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
During Vishwaroopam release.

"Ban movies that are made on Afghan terrorists, because it may create communal riot in India. What next..?? Ban News about Afghan and Pakistan terrorists because it may create communal tension here.?? :-/



I'm seriously worried where we are heading as a Nation..!!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"We will celebrate Republic Day tomorrow, marking the date the Constitution of India came into effect. And we ban movies, constraining the Right to freedom for speech and expression the very Constitution gave us..:-/

#The Irony that is India..!!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I'm almost sure that even in 2050 we Indians will catchify seats on buses by putting kerchief..:D"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"India seriously needs population control, so that atleast our children and grandchildren can buy tickets for movies on first day of its release without getting stamped and smothered..:|"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"That moment when someone comments "nice click", and you read it wrongly by joining 'c' and 'l'..;-):P

#PinnacleOfPerversion"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 The 21/12/2012 Mayan troll. :-)

"There were jokes that if the world doesn't end on 21st Dec 2012, there will be lot of babies born on 21st Sep 2013. I think that's gonna happen anyway. Today being the Winter solstice, the longest night in a year..;-) :D

And not even a lightning bolt today..?? Crap..:-/"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Post Delhi gang rape.

"If there is no news about rape or women degradation on any given day, now, that is News..!!

#SorryStateOfAffairs..:-/"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
New Year 2012

"Round and round it goes,
Around a star it goes.
A happy new year to you all,
Residing on this big, round, rocky ball..:-) :D"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Tamil song adapted to describe my sorry situation while working till 3am in the office. Skip this if you do not understand Tamil.

"Bengaloor Nagaram urangam neram
thanimai adarnthathu
paniyum padarthathu
Mail'il vandhu irangiye
Issue'um ennai parthu sirithathu

Moondru attai suvargalukulle
naanum en PC yum
thanimai thanimayo..
kodumai kodumaiyo... :-( :-/"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"When someone says you are getting fat(like in my case), just say that you trying to become more ATTRACTIVE...


...because according to physics, "Physical bodies 'attract' each other with a force proportional to their masses”..:D ;-)"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ilayathalapathy Vijay's movie, and not even a single 'Punch dialogue'..?? Highly disappointed. ;-) :P :D

#Thuppaki
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I copied this from someone else. But explains everyone's situation perfectly.

"Dear Youtube,
"I can deal with Ads.
I can deal with Buffer.
But when Ads Buffer.
I suffer..!!"

via: Balachandran"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"The strong urge to fast forward a song while watching a movie in theatre.

So annoying...:-/"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Apple suing Samsung drama.

"If a rectangular box with rounded edges is a design patent, then Camel should be suing Apple for stealing their Geometry box design..;) :D :P"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I still wonder about this.

"I was in the elevator. A guy's phone rang. He has "Washing powder Nirma" as his ringtone. I mean, seriously..?!?! :D"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You will understand this if you are a Tamilian.

"On the other hand I think Fb is biased. It doesn't allow you to create an account without Middle and Last names..:P"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Olympics.

"India selecting Sportsperson for Olympics is like Aamir selecting men for his team in Lagaan. Pull people from Railways, Police, Military and other Govt. organisations and expect them to win medals..;-) :D

#On the bright-side, its good that there is sports quota for Govt jobs..:-)"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Every girl is beautiful and every boy is handsome. You just have to be the right person to see it.

P.S: Its saturday and I'm already into Philasaphy mood..;)"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"The urge to piss increases 'Exponentially' when you get drenched in rain..:-/ :D"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Skip this if you dont follow TBBT or you dont know who X-men are.

"The X-Men were named after the X in Charles Xavier. Since I'm Sheldon Cooper, you will be my C-Men..!! ;-)

#LMTD. Sheldon rocks..:D

P.S: LMTD = Laughing Myself To Death. In case you were wondering..:P"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Nothing's gonna last. Either good or bad, everything's gonna pass..!!

P.S: Its still Thursday, and I'm already in mood for some Philasaphy..;-)"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Always take pride in the things you have achieved, yet be humble for things that you haven't..!!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"One of the good things about being at home is, you need not worry about where to go to or wat to EAT..!! :D"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Only one person liked this status. Is my sense of humor twisted..??

“Indian Wild Ass Sanctuary”

The desolate, blindingly white land of Little Rann is nature at its harshest and most convincing. It is also home to India’s last refuge population of Khur – Asiatic wild ass and for it is for the conservation of Khur, that this has been declared as the “Indian Wild Ass Sanctuary”.

P.S: Very misleading heading..:D
P.P.S: Or on a second thought, I might be a pervert...;-)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Dear Insomnia,

I ain't college kid anymore. I fucking have to go to office tomorrow. And I hate to walk around like a zombie in the office. So leave me alone and go find someone else. Pretty please.

Ur's truly."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"People tend to take credit for their success, but blame others/situation for the failure. Success or failure, you are the one responsible for it. Face it..!!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How to propose to a Medical girl..??

"Girl, you just gave me a Premature isovolumic ventricular contraction/relaxation"...:D

#Premature isovolumic ventricular contraction/relaxation - Heart skipping a beat...;-)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"If women who get paid to have sex are called 'Prostitutes', then shouldn't men who ask for dowry to get married(in-turn to have SEX..:P) be called 'Gigolos'..?? :D :D

#Gigolo = Male prostitutes. If you didn't know..;-)"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"How our company trolls us...

Company: There's a good news and a bad news.
Us: Bad news first.
Comp: In the interests of security of employees we declare closure of offices tomorrow on account of the Bharath Bandh.
Us: :D :D And the good news :D :D
Comp: The office will consequently remain open on next Saturday as a compensation... :D :D :D :D"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Our life is a constant struggle to be happy, so savour the moments when you get one...:-)"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"When you are standing in a queue and a bunch of men are staring at you.
They are either gay men having a good time or there's a real hot chick standing right behind you...:P via Rajesh Kumar

P.S: Applicable only for men.
P.P.S: There's nothing sexist about the P.S...;-)"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hate my job phase.

"Why does it happen to me..??
.
.
They either make me sit beside my manager or they make the person who sits beside me, my manager...:-/"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"No human society ever exists without booze or religion..!!
.
.
That's why, "I DRINK RELIGIOUSLY"...:P

#A dialog in The Darkest Hour...;-)"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Love is blind n all is okay, but dont let it make ur life dark I say...;-) :P"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"That awesome moment when you discover that ur Girlfrnd is a Football fan..,
.
.
.
And the Awful moment when you discover that she supports the opposite team...:p"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The tremors during September, or was it August.?

"If you are drunk during an Earthquake, you would be really confused.
.
.
.
Whether its you who is wobbling or the Earth..?? :D"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Daaru peene ke liye kisi ko force math karo.

Baad me Apne liye daaru kam padh jaati hai...;-)"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"What would an Atheist say when he is shocked/excited..??
.
.
.
.
Oh Your God(OYG)....!!!!!! ;p"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I still do not know why I wrote this.

"A relationship of almost 5yrs n 8 months comes to an end. Now you may not be with me all the time. Yet you shall be always remembered. Some one much better, prettier and smarter than you has replaced you. But that doesn't mean you are any less. The sturdy and stubborn little bitch that you were, I never felt like leaving you for anyone else. Until you started acting weird for no reason at all. It couldn't have been continued this way. It would have spoiled my relationship with others, who would have thought I'm ignoring them because of you. As hard as it may feel, I had to let you go and say good bye. But dont worry, I shall come visit you whenever I feel like. Hold you and recollect all those fond memories I shared with you. But I will always miss you.
.
.
.
.
.
To my Nokia 6030,

With Love, Yours Truly...:-)"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now that 2012 is over and we are alive and many people are still in a hurry to get married. I'm still wondering

"Lots of people around me are getting married.
Ufff..!! Seems like people have taken the "2012-End of World" thing seriously...;-)"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"How to make ur most Favorite song as the most Irritating one..??
.
.
Set it as ur Alarm Tone...;-)"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Dont try to be "Good to a Person", just try to be a "Good Person". Accepting or not accepting ur Goodness is their fucking problem..!!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I'm sick of people bringing Chocolates while returning from On-site. Please change the option, we ain't 5yr olds...:-/
 
P.S: Even cash will be ACCEPTED..;-)"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And we are again on a house hunt.

"Indian parents are ready to Marry-off their daughters to Bachelors, but wont rent their Houses to them...;-)
#EKSI"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The 'I hate my job' phase

"Life is a Race. U r the Horse and ur Boss is the Jockey..!!
.
.
You run in the race and someone else earns the Reward..:-/
 
P.S: Jockey here is not a brand of Underwear...;p"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I was wondering why I PROCRASTINATE so much.
.
.
But then I thought I will think about it later...;p"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another 'I hate my job' phase

"The relation between a Software Developer and Tester is like that of an Indian Daughter-in-law and Mother-in-law.

For Tester- Everything the Developer does, is full of Errors and is not correct.
For Developer- Everything the Tester complaints about, is Pointless and they dont Understand...;-)"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on facebook...:-)"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Its really funny when ur head itches while riding a bike, and u strt scratching ur helmet...;-)"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Very serious 'I hate my job' phase.

"Software Engineers are not much different from Prostitutes.

We go whenever they call
We do whatever they say
We perform to our best, yet they are never satisfied
We do not like what we do, yet we do it for a living
We get Screwed
&
We get paid for it...!!!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
May be that's a bad childhood memory.

"Best childhood memory..

"You sleep all Dry and Clean and wake up all Wet and Pissed"...;-)"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jan LokPal hoopla

"Just a thought ---- How if we bribe the government to pass Jan Lokpal Bill..??"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Passenger: How long does the Train stop here.?
Station Master: 2 2 2 2 2 2
Passenger: W T F..??
.
.
.
.
.
Station Master: U dumbass it means from 1:58 to 2:02(Two to Two to Two Two)...;p

Courtesy: Anbe Sivam"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
In my defense, I know the explanation  for this.


"Enakku romba naala oru sandegam(I have a doubt since a long time)..

While Black is a color n White is also a color,
Y the hell is Black&White TV not a color TV..!!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"When you join a new project, the team meetings are like Watching a Chinese movie without Sub-titles...!!!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. But many a times they need an Eye check-up...;-)"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I always think I become foolish wen I'm Drunk.
.
And the prblm is,
.
I think the opposite wen I'm actually Drunk...;-)"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The only English poem I wrote. If you can call this a poem that is.

"Millions of memories, only few hundreds to cherish.
Yours are the ones that will never perish..
Many a faces in life when I think,
Yet Yours is the one I remember every time I blink"...:-)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



This question is yet to be answered.

"If ADAM n EVE were d first n only humans created by GOD, I wonder whom their children married n how d Human race continued...?!?!?!?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So that's it. These are most of my statuses. From 12th August 2009 till 26th Feb 2013. Now don't go and search my name on fb to add me as a friend, okay..?? :D

P.S: Mid-way while composing this post I started wondering if 'Statuses' is the plural of 'Status'. When I searched on Google, I discovered that many people have the same confusion. Anyhow, MS Word and Blogger say its correct. So much for studying in a Convent for 12yrs.:P