Thursday, May 3, 2012


          We all keep reading Quotes on facebook, through texts, on facebook, through e-mails, on facebook, on T-shirts, well, you get the drift, right.? We keep reading quotes now and then, here and there. But have you ever seen such situations really happening in your life..? It happened in my life and I will share the best 3 of them.

What goes around, comes back around.

          We all have a facebook account, I too have one. We all add friends, I too do it. And most of the times they are the people we have seldom spoken to in real life. What..?? It's a fact. I'm sure that atleast 80% of the people on fb have added people whom they have seldom spoken to or just said 'Hi' or 'Bye' once or twice. It happens. And its not such a bad thing. Not until you have some not-so-good intentions. So where I was.? Ya, adding people whom you seldom spoke to. When I was new to fb, switching over from Orkut(RIP), I was a little over-enthusiastic, you know, sending requests and accepting them from one and all. I usually used to search the names or search the friends list of my friends to find the people. And there was this girl I saw in one of my friend's friends list. An old forgotten classmate. Have not spoken to each other much. But we knew each other. So I casually sent her a request and forgot about it. Fast forward 1 and half years, while I was stalking on fb, I again came across her name. And I remembered sending her a request long long back. So I went to her profile, it was still "Friend request sent". I cancelled the previous request, and sent her a request again, in case she didn't notice the last one. And was waiting for her reaction. 1 day went by, 1 week went by, 1 month went by. Nothing happened. Therefore I just assumed that she wasn't interested and hit the 'Cancel friend request' button. Cut short to few months back. I logged into fb. A new friend request, and you guessed it right. It was her. I didn't understand the entire thing. I send the request twice in a span of almost 2yrs, she turns down them and now, she sends one herself. Like I became Awesome or something, suddenly. You know what I did..? Turned down her request and blocked her(Yeah, I'm a bad-ass and I know it..:D). And imagined me telling her, "What goes around, comes back around", baby..;-)

Life isn't about the big things, its the Little things that really matter.

           As-usual one fine evening I left the office at 5.35 to catch the office cab. And suddenly I felt like pissing. But due to the fear of missing the cab and since the next cab was after 2hrs, I just ignored it. It was drizzling outside after a heavy downpour. After slightly getting drenched I got into the cab. But the fact that I had a cup of coffee just before leaving and the weather being cold and me getting wet didn't make my situation any better. My condition changed from "Feel like pissing" to "Want to piss". The heavy downpour turned the roads into rivers, in turn making the traffic slow in turn making my life a bit more miserable. At one point when the traffic came to a stand-still and when we had not even covered half the distance after travelling for half an hour, exactly at that point, my condition changed from "Want to piss" to "Need to piss". It was like the focal point of my entire concentration was at the tip of my, well, you know what. And then I remembered, 20 yrs back, when I was 3yrs old, my grandma taught me to sing, Jai Jai Rama, Seetha Rama, when in deep crisis. I started saying 'Rama Rama Rama'(my mind was too occupied to say the whole thing). And after another 40mins of travelling and wading through the crowds on the road, whom I felt, were conspiring against me by blocking my path, and climbing the stairs to 2nd floor to reach our home, and after trying to open the lock and dropping the key and then managing to unlock without dropping anything and running to the toilet without even removing my shoes and after pulling down the fly and pulling out my, Primary liquid excreting organ and when I pissed, it felt like I had 100 orgasms in just a million micro seconds. It was then I realized, "Life is all about little things", like, being able to piss when you want to.

When you know the truth, its fun listening to the lie.

          This isn't exactly same as the quote, but almost similar. This happened few days back at office. My location is on the 8th floor of my office, so I usually take the lift while going up. I got into the empty lift at 1st floor. The lift stopped at 2nd floor and a girl/lady got in. And just after the lift started moving, I smelt something foul, literally. My first reaction was to lift my arm and smell it. And then I thought, "No, I had my bath, sprayed the deo and the shirt was a washed one". Then lifted my legs to check if I had accidentally stepped on some dog shit on my way. And it wasn't the case either. Then it struck me. FART. Fart has this characteristic of being louder or smelling filthier when you try to suppress it. And since I had taken a dump in the morning, and since you know when you Fart, and since there were only two people in the lift, I knew who the culprit is. And being the Gentleman that I'm, I didn't wanna hurt her already embarrassed ego. So I just turned my head the other side with a smug smile on my face and started breathing through my mouth, you know, to avoid smelling the fart. Everything was okay till the 5th floor. Now, enter the third person. As soon as the person came in, the Fart Girl started rubbing her nose, waving her hand in front of her face and all that. I then thought, either her sensory organs are too weak, thereby detecting her own fart so late or she was giving one helluva performance fit only for the Oscars. Either ways I wasn't much concerned. When we reached the 8th floor, I just barged out before her and gave her a split second glance with that smug smile still on my face. And then I thought to myself, "When you know the truth, its fun listening to the lie".