Wednesday, July 13, 2011


It was a normal day in B'lore in December 2030, the climate was somewhat chilly at 42 degree Celsius. Vishnu returned to home from office by 5.30 pm. There was an unusual silence at home considering the usual greetings and inquiries by his parents. The girl they were in talks with had rejected him, he found out the reason for their silence. He went over to his parents, took their hands in his and consoled them saying, "Don't worry, I can wait until you find the right girl. There is no urgency. After all I too need time and I want to spend as much time as possible with my parents".
                 But Srikanth knew that his son was speaking those word only to console them. He knew that his son was crying every night in his bedroom holding his pillow. Who wouldn't..? For this is the 8th girl rejecting him. And he is not getting any younger. All his friends are married or going to get married. It was sometimes unbearable for Srikanth to face his son when he gets a wedding invitation from one of his friends. But what can he do, neither can they afford the high demands for dowry the girl's parents ask nor is his son too handsome for a girl to marry him without any expectations. He always thought that his wife's niece would marry his son. But she chose to marry a guy from a well-to-do family who had a Doctorate, looked extremely handsome and paid her a heavy dowry. The guy even knows how to cook. So much for a girl who doesn't have a degree, does not wanna work and never entered the kitchen. What if the girl has a degree, goes for work, can cook and also can look after the children. Only TATAs, BIRLAs n AMBANIs could afford such a Daughter-in-law.

                 His worries got bigger every other day. Every year's population estimation spelt doom on so many young men's lives. Many parents were worried whether their sons will ever get married in their entire life. The skewed sex ratio of 1000:532 meant half of the men went to grave with "Remained Virgin" written on their epitaph. And many girls deciding to take up spiritual path and few the L-path meant few more men writing the "Remained Virgin" on their epitaph too. The experiment to create female babies through surrogate machines bore no success. Even if it does, the female children created through the process will be available for marriage only after 20yrs.

                 And news about men trying to get sex change operation done from some cheap hospital in Malaysia or Bangkok has become a routine. And boys tying the knot with boys has become a norm with becoming the second largest matrimonial site. The statistics show that the there's sudden rise in the demand for gay porn in the last few years. Parents too readily accept gay marriages sometimes. For writing "Been Happy n Gay" would be better than "Remained Virgin". And last year Dostana 10 was the highest grosser in the Indian film industry's history. Today's news had that a woman fetched a record $1 Billion to be a surrogate mother for a gay couple.

                  Even the VHPs and Rama Senes have stopped opposing the gay marriages. They thought that a guy marrying a guy was far more better than a guy marrying an animal and they would never allow it. Srikanth was OK if his son chose to marry a boy, he even spoke to his wife about it. But he always knew his son was as straight as an arrow.

                 But he also had something to cheer about. The Indian Govt. has decided to pass a bill making the Sex determination the highest punishable act in Indian Judiciary system. They even announced schemes where a family with a single girl child will get many govt. benefits, with 2 girl children they would get full govt. support for job, living, house, education and healthcare. And one can only fantasize about such a fortune if one has more than 2 girl children. And couples trying for a girl child and giving birth to more than 3 male children will be sent out of the country.

                 The crime against women was almost nil. With groom paying the dowry now, there's no problem of dowry harassment. One cannot risk raping a girl, for she could be a potential wife to a man, and one man would not want to spoil another man's life/wife. Also there are many cases of Live-in-Dual or Multi relationships, where a single unmarried woman stays with more than one man and chooses one lucky guy among them to marry. Few even call it the "Return of Mahabaratha" or "Draupadi Style".

                 But every cloud has a silver lining, so does his son, thought Srikanth. His dear friend spoke to him about a girl. He still had high hopes about this one. The girl does not have very high demands. She is against taking dowry. She is Ok even if his son doesn't have a Doctorate, hasn't studied in any of the 108 IITs or 69 IIMs or hasn't gone to Uganda to do MS. She is even OK with his average looks and dark complexion. She just wants her future husband to cook well. But that's the worrisome part. Because every-time Vishnu tried cooking, he either burnt his hands or the food. Sometimes even his parent's stomach. But there's God and he would help my son, Srikanth said to himself. All these he thought with a small unfulfilled wish, "WHAT IF I HAD HAD A GIRL CHILD".

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Ananthakrishnan : Hi young man how r u..?
Me : Hi.. I’m doing fine. How abot u..?
AK : Thanks for asking. I’m fine. Seems like u are moving to a new job.
Me : Ya. In 2 weeks time.
AK : Thats good to hear.
Me : Well. Thank You.
AK : So how much are they paying you.
Me :  Almost double the present .
AK : U must be really happy.
Me : Ya kind of.
AK : Kind of..? When I was ur age I earned 10% of what u earn today.
Me : Well back then cost of living was 5% of wat it is today isn’t it..?
AK : You are a smart lad. Aren’t  you?
Me : :-)
AK : So how are your parents?
Me : Dey r doin fine.
AK : Is your dad on fb?
Me : No he is not. He is not dat much into computers and other electronic gadgets u see.
AK : Does he have a mobile at least.?
Me : Ya he does.
AK : Whats his no.
Me : ???
AK : Oh. I’m not your Principal. You can give his no. I would like to speak to such a Smart young man’s dad someday. :-)
Me : 9986161303
AK : So what next?
Me : Next..?
AK : Ya next. What next after moving to your new job. Your future plans, about getting married, settling down. Those things.
Me : R u kiddin me. Isn't dis too early to think about such things.  Forget abot looking aftr some1 els, I consider myself to be too young to even look aftr myself. And I luv my bed too much to share it with some1 els, atlest for now.
AK : This generation is too afraid to take up responsibilities. I tell you, time will fly away even before you realise it. Then you will have to marry someone just for the sake of it.
Me : But still.
AK : But once you find that right person you wont talk like this.
Me : I’m happy I din find one. Also I don intend to do so for the next few years.
AK : U need not. Sometimes they find you.
Me : I don think some1 wud be so dumb to think I’m a right person.
AK : You are not just Smart. You are funny too.
Me : If U say so.
AK : My elder brother has a daughter, she’s in her 3rd year of engg. She too is very smart like you.
Me : Oh.
AK : She too plans to join the IT industry after finishing her degree.
Me : Gud.
AK : My brother plans to get her married after her engg.
Me : Gud again.
AK : I was just thinking....
Me : about..?
AK : what a beautiful COUPLE you both would make.

No. No way is this happening to me. Now I was able to connect to all those dots. All his questions and queries. What a fool I was and I am. I couldn't believe this was happening for real. For a moment I thought it was a dream. But it wasn't. The next thing I did was to Unfriend him. Thank God I gave him a wrong number.

                And for you Mr.Ananthakrishnan, I have not even given my parents the privilege of finding me a Life partner. So you need not worry about it. And who knows, your elder brother’s daughter might have already found a potential partner for herself or I hope she is smart enough to find him for herself in the future. So you need not worry about her too. And for Devil’s sake this is not a Matrimonial site, its fcuking Social Networking one. Stop misusing it. Thank God none suggested this idea to Zuckerberg.
                May be this was God's way of getting back at me for ogling at the pics of all those unknown girls. But then I learnt my lesson. Not to add people on fb whom I do not know. Atleast those who are not of my age group.