The Buzzzzzing BEE

Aahh. Have you ever experienced the feeling where you are constantly under disturbance. Its not annoyance mind it. Just disturbance. That's what I have been experiencing since few days. To say exactly since the past 3-4 days. Its like you are sitting in a park trying to think hard about something but suddenly a bee comes by, Buzzing around.
"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"...
"zzzzzzzzzzz"...
"zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"...

You just flicker your hand to shoo off the bee and then again it comes back buzzing.
"zzzzzzzzzzzz"...
"zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"...
"zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"...

Its just pure disturbance. Not letting me think about anything. And I'm unable to catch this bee and kill it or atleast catch it, put it in a box and throw it far away. Its all fully disturbed for me right now. Ok now let me rant about few things here.

My seating location was changed for the fourth time in the last 40 days. It was actually my entire team. But still. At first my cubicle was beside 2 pretty things. Then they said they were doing some re-ordering and sent our entire team to a small lab on the below floor. That lab was smaller than an average Computer lab in a High school. Then they scattered us all around that floor. Then they called us back to our previous floor. And my manager made me sit in a cubicle that is beside his. As though its gonna bother me..;-) And then he went on-site.

The irritating part here is, once you sit in a place it takes time to get accustomed to the environment. To find out all the good looking women on that floor and know their locations and the distance between you and the nearest good looking one. When I'm done with all this things, they pull me out of there and throw me in a new place. Aarghhhh.

I have been wanting to write a lot. But instead of writing I end up reading. Its the blog I'm talking about. Not that I dont have ideas to write. I'm a bit lazy. Ok, much more than bit.  What..?? Ok I'm a lazy-ass who doesn't even move his bum right to left. I know you are no less. But the thing is, even before writing I start thinking What to write..? How to write..? When to write..? And end up not writing at all. I didn't even have much work at office lately.

So I end up reading blogs whenever I feel like writing a post. Then I made up my mind yesterday and posted this. Not that I posted something good. But something is always better than nothing, isn't it.? I still want to write more. And keep the promise I made to my blog. But then who cares. I also need to change its look. I'm getting bored with it. But not now. I'm very much disturbed.

Ah..!! The happy part. I'm leaving for home tomorrow, for Deepavali. Will be a week long holiday. In case any of you read this before Deepavali, here you go "Happy Deepavali"..:-) Wear new dress, eat lotsa sweets, light lotsa diyas, burst crackers, burn your fingers. Ok not the last one. But have a blast. I shall go home, catch that bee, tie it to a Rocket and send it away to the skies. And by the way, theres a love story coming around. Keep reading. :-)

My favorite Jingles.

I know people get hooked to songs. But ads..?? Yes they do. And I'm one of them. By Ads I mean jingles. In the present day scenario where each and everything is advertised to such an extent that they get on to your nerve, we don't even want to remember those ads after a few moments. But few, very few of them get your attention. And even fewer of them get etched into your memory forever. The sudden spurt of happiness you get when you see or hear them is just priceless.

          So some of the ads which caught my attention and will always remain etched in my memory due to their catchy tunes are as follows in the order of their priority.

1. This ones a gem. I'm not a regular Tea/Coffee guy. But if my Coffee is served with this ambiance every morning and this jingle playing in the background. I dont mind becoming a Coffee addict.

               


2. Ah. I just love this song. I can mumble it all day long and still be not bored by it. But there was a time when I had a HUTCH prepaid connection and every time I called their Customer care, they used to make me wait with this song running in loop, like for infinity. Now that bitterness has turned into a sweet love..:-)

               
In case you too wanna mumble it, here's the lyrics.

                             You and I, in this beautiful world, 

                                   Green grass, blue skies,
                                    In this beautiful world
                      You and I, winding lanes as streams go by,
                             You and I, in this beautiful world...

3. Very few ads connect rightly with their theme. If a soft-drink says Limca-Do Pal Taazgi, then this coveys it the best way. And Adah Sharma looks too good to be described in few words.

               

4. This is one among those which leaves you wanting more. I can never get enough of it.

               

5. How can this list be complete without the famous Airtel ad with Rahman in it. But it made only to the last position. Thats due to the overuse of it. I have never seen a jingle exploited to such level.

               

       There are still many others, but these are my top 5. And I like them just for their Jingles(or to say, for their music), nothing else...:-)

I'm Hungry..!!

It was 11:00 p.m. Sahil was dropped at his house by the office cab. He lived there with his friend. But his friend was not at home that day. He went to his native to attend his cousin’s marriage, 2 days ago. He would be coming the next morning. Sahil hurried up to his house in the second floor. He unlocked the door quickly and got in. He went to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator to find something to eat. Only the empty bottles of Teacher’s Choice, Signature, Blackdog and others stood there. He found a little amount of Sprite left in a bottle. Quickly grabbed it and poured it in his mouth.

“Did it even wet my tongue”? He thought.

It was late. All the restaurants were closed while he was returning in the cab. Even the road side eateries were not there. He thought he could find something at home. Ankit always kept something to eat at home.

“Oh, what shall I do now”? He thought again. He was hungry beyond he could explain. Then he filled a glass full of water, dumped lots of sugar in it, stirred and drank it in a gulp.

“May be this will hold that Hunger-demon for a while”, he said to himself. He then went and hit the bed.

The clock struck 12. Sahil woke up and sat on the bed and gave a huge grunt. The pain was unbearable. The sweetness of sugar was no match for the audacity of the Hunger-demon. He felt like someone was playing with a flail in his stomach. He got up and went into the kitchen again. He searched all the containers to find something that he could eat. He found nothing but sugar, salt, oil and other things but nothing which he can cook. He gave a deep thought about something.

He then lit the stove and placed a kadai on it, poured oil into that. He left it to heat up. Then he prepared a marinade with whatever he could find in the kitchen. He mixed it well. Just when the oil was about to boil, he smeared the marinade over his hands and dipped them into the kadai. He simmered it around in the kadai. After 5mins he took them out. They were perfectly cooked, like a deep fried chicken. He took it to his nose and smelled it.

“Perfect”, he said. Then he took a bite of it.

“Oh My God.!!", shuddered Sahil on his bed gasping for air.

“What kind of dream was that?”, he thought. He was shivering and sweating profusely. His throat went dry. He wiped the sweat off his forehead and suddenly felt something different. He switched on the lights. His blood Froze when he saw his “Deep fried hands”.

SUPERORGANISMS

I myself do not know why or what I’m posting. May be just to keep the promise I made to my blog that I will regularly be in contact with him. So let’s dissect this post a little. WHY am I posting this..?? Well you see, facebook has been blocked at my office since last week. And there haven’t been any BUGS recently to bug me. And I can’t leave the office without completing 9hrs. There you go, 9hrs at office without work or facebook. What else to do. And I think someone said, “Make hay while the sun shines”. So you got the answer for WHY.

                

                    Now lets come to WHAT. But explaining what I’m posting here becomes the WHAT part here. Kind of a Paradox isn’t it..?? Ok lets not digress. Then I thought maybe I could post something here. So what shall I post? See I have this habit of Googling about random things. When I say random, its Random. Anything under, above or around the sun, even a few light years away from it. About people, places, events, softwares, movies, just about anything. But then, I didn’t search anything on Google today. And when I thought about searching something on it nothing came to my mind which was worth searching.

                

                   Then it struck me. The incident that happened today morning. I got up as usual at 6:30 a.m. cursing myself for not being a Sanyasi. Then started with my morning chores. As I was carrying on with my business, I saw these ants. The small black ones that don’t bite you.  They sometimes steal your sugar from your shelves. Those ants. As they were moving along the wall they seemed like they were dashing/colliding with each other. Like they were blindfolded and couldn’t see who was coming in front of them. But then they didn’t seem like they were dashing/colliding with each other. It looked like they were greeting each other.

                

                  Not that I never noticed this before but it never intrigued me so much. May be this was the first time I noticed this while in loo. It’s the place where you are all by yourself. Your fortress of solitude. The place where your past comes as slideshows, your present feels pleasant and your future looks clear. If it was Banyan tree for Buddha, it’s the loo for many of us. So I sat there wondering why they did so. But as it was getting late for the office I had to flush the toilet as well my thoughts then.

                

                 So I typed on Google, “Why do ants touch each other while moving”. Tingggg came the results. As I dwelled through them I came to know that it was their way of communicating. Their way of telling the other ant that the route they are following it safe, that they could find the food there or its waste following the path. Its how they pass on the message from one ant to the other. Their primary mode of communication is through smell. The different combination of chemicals specifies different commands. And these commands are followed obediently by each one of them. Have you ever observed that when you pull an ant out of its line it somehow again falls back into the line. This is due to the trail of chemicals left behind by the other ants. They are highly organizational creatures.

                

                 Coming to the point. What is that I’m trying to say.? Nothing. Or may be theres something we all can learn from those tiny ants. Discipline, Obedience, Trust, Helpfulness and Teamwork. They are such small beings yet so good at these basic characteristics that a Human should possess. But guess how many of us possess at least a few of those..?? I will let you answer that…

                

                So, from shit to philosophy. Wonder how strange this human mind works. Anyways let’s not get too serious. I don’t want the Joker come ask me “Whyyy so Seriousss”..?? :-)

NOTHING BUT SHIT

    If you gonna read this I better clarify that theres nothing in this post that you would want to read. Its just that I felt really sorry for my blog. Wait, hold on for a second. I do have something to tell. I wanted to tell this for a very long while. I saw that everyone has a welcome post or something of that sort explaining why they are writing, what sort of things you can find in their blogs and blah blah blah... But I realized that I do not have one. But there’s nothing of that sort for me. I just started writing because I wanted a way to vent out my frustration and anger over a particular incident (read my first post). And I myself do not have any idea about what I want to write or what I’m gonna write. So there it goes, full on action from the very start. Absolutely no bullshit.

                 Yeah, coming back to ‘Feeling sorry for my blog’ part. I really do feel very bad for my blog. Its like inviting one of your friends to home because you are bored and then leaving him behind as another friend of yours invited you to their house. If I were my blog I would have been really pissed. Sorry mate.  So this post is for my beloved blog. Not for me, not for those few people who peek into you to see what nonsense I have written, not to make full use of the 1Mbps connection that I have got at home, not for anything else. Its just for you. This is what I can do for all the things you have given me (?!?!?!?).

                  And from now on I will try to be regularly in touch with you. This is difficult for me but, I promise that I will find time to complete all those half written posts and make sure that they see the light of day. Even though there are a million things that I want to tell you, I’m presently out of time. And also theres a team meeting which I need to attend in about 12mins. So this is all I can tell you in this short span of time.  So take care till I catch up with you the next time.

P.S: “Nothing but Shit” is a title inspired from an album of Ilaiyaraja called “Nothing but Wind”. Please do listen to it if you find time and if you like to listen to a Violin talking.

A GUY'S STORY-2030

It was a normal day in B'lore in December 2030, the climate was somewhat chilly at 42 degree Celsius. Vishnu returned to home from office by 5.30 pm. There was an unusual silence at home considering the usual greetings and inquiries by his parents. The girl they were in talks with had rejected him, he found out the reason for their silence. He went over to his parents, took their hands in his and consoled them saying, "Don't worry, I can wait until you find the right girl. There is no urgency. After all I too need time and I want to spend as much time as possible with my parents".

                

                 But Srikanth knew that his son was speaking those word only to console them. He knew that his son was crying every night in his bedroom holding his pillow. Who wouldn't..? For this is the 8th girl rejecting him. And he is not getting any younger. All his friends are married or going to get married. It was sometimes unbearable for Srikanth to face his son when he gets a wedding invitation from one of his friends. But what can he do, neither can they afford the high demands for dowry the girl's parents ask nor is his son too handsome for a girl to marry him without any expectations. He always thought that his wife's niece would marry his son. But she chose to marry a guy from a well-to-do family who had a Doctorate, looked extremely handsome and paid her a heavy dowry. The guy even knows how to cook. So much for a girl who doesn't have a degree, does not wanna work and never entered the kitchen. What if the girl has a degree, goes for work, can cook and also can look after the children. Only TATAs, BIRLAs n AMBANIs could afford such a Daughter-in-law.

                 His worries got bigger every other day. Every year's population estimation spelt doom on so many young men's lives. Many parents were worried whether their sons will ever get married in their entire life. The skewed sex ratio of 1000:532 meant half of the men went to grave with "Remained Virgin" written on their epitaph. And many girls deciding to take up spiritual path and few the L-path meant few more men writing the "Remained Virgin" on their epitaph too. The experiment to create female babies through surrogate machines bore no success. Even if it does, the female children created through the process will be available for marriage only after 20yrs.

                 And news about men trying to get sex change operation done from some cheap hospital in Malaysia or Bangkok has become a routine. And boys tying the knot with boys has become a norm with gaymatrimony.com becoming the second largest matrimonial site. The statistics show that the there's sudden rise in the demand for gay porn in the last few years. Parents too readily accept gay marriages sometimes. For writing "Been Happy n Gay" would be better than "Remained Virgin". And last year Dostana 10 was the highest grosser in the Indian film industry's history. Today's news had that a woman fetched a record $1 Billion to be a surrogate mother for a gay couple.

                  Even the VHPs and Rama Senes have stopped opposing the gay marriages. They thought that a guy marrying a guy was far more better than a guy marrying an animal and they would never allow it. Srikanth was OK if his son chose to marry a boy, he even spoke to his wife about it. But he always knew his son was as straight as an arrow.

                 But he also had something to cheer about. The Indian Govt. has decided to pass a bill making the Sex determination the highest punishable act in Indian Judiciary system. They even announced schemes where a family with a single girl child will get many govt. benefits, with 2 girl children they would get full govt. support for job, living, house, education and healthcare. And one can only fantasize about such a fortune if one has more than 2 girl children. And couples trying for a girl child and giving birth to more than 3 male children will be sent out of the country.

                 The crime against women was almost nil. With groom paying the dowry now, there's no problem of dowry harassment. One cannot risk raping a girl, for she could be a potential wife to a man, and one man would not want to spoil another man's life/wife. Also there are many cases of Live-in-Dual or Multi relationships, where a single unmarried woman stays with more than one man and chooses one lucky guy among them to marry. Few even call it the "Return of Mahabaratha" or "Draupadi Style".

                 But every cloud has a silver lining, so does his son, thought Srikanth. His dear friend spoke to him about a girl. He still had high hopes about this one. The girl does not have very high demands. She is against taking dowry. She is Ok even if his son doesn't have a Doctorate, hasn't studied in any of the 108 IITs or 69 IIMs or hasn't gone to Uganda to do MS. She is even OK with his average looks and dark complexion. She just wants her future husband to cook well. But that's the worrisome part. Because every-time Vishnu tried cooking, he either burnt his hands or the food. Sometimes even his parent's stomach. But there's God and he would help my son, Srikanth said to himself. All these he thought with a small unfulfilled wish, "WHAT IF I HAD HAD A GIRL CHILD".

fbmatrimony.com

Ananthakrishnan : Hi young man how r u..?

Me : Hi.. I’m doing fine. How abot u..?

AK : Thanks for asking. I’m fine. Seems like u are moving to a new job.

Me : Ya. In 2 weeks time.

AK : Thats good to hear.

Me : Well. Thank You.

AK : So how much are they paying you.

Me :  Almost double the present .

AK : U must be really happy.

Me : Ya kind of.

AK : Kind of..? When I was ur age I earned 10% of what u earn today.

Me : Well back then cost of living was 5% of wat it is today isn’t it..?

AK : You are a smart lad. Aren’t  you?

Me : :-)

AK : So how are your parents?

Me : Dey r doin fine.

AK : Is your dad on fb?

Me : No he is not. He is not dat much into computers and other electronic gadgets u see.

AK : Does he have a mobile at least.?

Me : Ya he does.

AK : Whats his no.

Me : ???

AK : Oh. I’m not your Principal. You can give his no. I would like to speak to such a Smart young man’s dad someday. :-)

Me : 9986161303

AK : So what next?

Me : Next..?

AK : Ya next. What next after moving to your new job. Your future plans, about getting married, settling down. Those things.

Me : R u kiddin me. Isn't dis too early to think about such things.  Forget abot looking aftr some1 els, I consider myself to be too young to even look aftr myself. And I luv my bed too much to share it with some1 els, atlest for now.

AK : This generation is too afraid to take up responsibilities. I tell you, time will fly away even before you realise it. Then you will have to marry someone just for the sake of it.

Me : But still.

AK : But once you find that right person you wont talk like this.

Me : I’m happy I din find one. Also I don intend to do so for the next few years.

AK : U need not. Sometimes they find you.

Me : I don think some1 wud be so dumb to think I’m a right person.

AK : You are not just Smart. You are funny too.

Me : If U say so.

AK : My elder brother has a daughter, she’s in her 3^rd year of engg. She too is very smart like you.

Me : Oh.

AK : She too plans to join the IT industry after finishing her degree.

Me : Gud.

AK : My brother plans to get her married after her engg.

Me : Gud again.

AK : I was just thinking....

Me : about..?

AK : what a beautiful COUPLE you both would make.

***********************************FUCK*****************************************

No. No way is this happening to me. Now I was able to connect to all those dots. All his questions and queries. What a fool I was and I am. I couldn't believe this was happening for real. For a moment I thought it was a dream. But it wasn't. The next thing I did was to Unfriend him. Thank God I gave him a wrong number.

                And for you Mr.Ananthakrishnan, I have not even given my parents the privilege of finding me a Life partner. So you need not worry about it. And who knows, your elder brother’s daughter might have already found a potential partner for herself or I hope she is smart enough to find him for herself in the future. So you need not worry about her too. And for Devil’s sake this is not a Matrimonial site, its fcuking Social Networking one. Stop misusing it. Thank God none suggested this idea to Zuckerberg.

                

                May be this was God's way of getting back at me for ogling at the pics of all those unknown girls. But then I learnt my lesson. Not to add people on fb whom I do not know. Atleast those who are not of my age group.